Gettin hiiiiiggghhhhhh

There's nothing better. Running feeds my needs. Sometimes it takes a couple of miles to get in the groove, but once I am in that groove there isn't a better feeling in this world. The endorphins raging through my blood stream can make me happy when skies are gray. Physical or emotional pain can disappear after a get dose of running endorphins. Sex, drugs, nor rock and roll can give me such a feeling. I'm excited to start upping my milage a bit, maybe in preparation for a marathon in a couple of months?

Why does running have such a swanky stigma associated with it? Anyone can do it. It was only a bit over a year ago that running more than 5K was out of the question for me. It only took a bit of 'training,' and a little motivation to get out and up it to 10+ miles. My point is, I think that anyone can be a runner, and everyone should be a runner. I think that if all were to run a few miles a day, a few days per week this world would be a much better place. Happier, healthier, sexier, stronger, and with clearer minds. Diabetes wouldn't overtake our society. Stress wouldn't hinder our lives. And maybe, someday you might look like this sexy beast, who can run for days at a time.

Go out there and learn to like it. I bet that with time, you'll be hooked.


Thumbs UP?

So, it's been a pretty good day. Had a post-op appointment this morning to check the status of my healing hand. I was a bit worried, because during the last few days, something just didn't feel right in there. I think that the issue was simply that the swelling had gone down, allowing my hand to move too much within the splint.

So I got my stitches out...

...had some x-rays taken...

... and got a sweet, new green cast!

It turns out the the bone is healing properly. The pins brought all of the fragments together as planned, and the articular surface with the thumb will hopefully fuse to become one smooth surface. That, however, will take 7 weeks of keeping my thumb immobile in this cast...

So far, the cast feels great though. It gives my hand much more support which makes it more comfortable for me to commute on my bike. I even went for a run this afternoon which felt good as well. Now, it just takes patience, which I've never had much of, in order to heal back up 100%.



I am starting to get pretty antsy. I think I need a new hobby. Maybe this?

Doesn't look like any hands are needed really. Don't think mom would approve though.

Until I think of something cool and safe to keep me busy, I am going to try and get my hands on a good book. Its been a while since I've read for pleasure.



I have realized that my main change throughout my years at college is that I have gone from someone who cares most about how others perceive me, to someone who cares most about how I perceive myself. Making that change has simply allowed me to be me and not someone who I think that I should be. I don't know why I am reallllllllly realizing this now, but I feel sorry for people who are not really who they want to be.

... "perception is reality"

BA outie


Percs are for pussys

72 hours of being on percocet is enough for me. I am not a narcotic kind of guy. I hate the feeling of being under the influence of chemicals, besides the occasional ethanol in the form of a few beers. When on percocet my eyelids felt like they were lifting 5 pound weights, I was itching myself like a crack-head, and I was constipated.

So, as far as recovery and taking care of myself goes at this point, I have been sticking with some homeopathic remedies suggested by my mother, the naturopathic physical therapist/spiritual psychologist extraordinaire including laser treatment and arnica.

BA out



If you know me, you should know that I do not enjoy complainers. I like people who are independent, and I enjoy the HTFU mentality. I have always lived my life by such beliefs. When I have a head ache, I don't take tylenol, when I skin my knee, I just scrub that shit in the shower. Relying on pain killers to manage the pain from my injury has beem mentally difficult for me. I feel a bit hopeless.

If you know me, you also know that I try to find a positive way of looking at everything in life. I am using my injury as a way of forcing myself to become better at using my left hand. My whole life, I have been SO right dominant. Being so right dominant, I feel that the left side of my brain that deals with logical and analytical issues has developed more than the right side which is the creative and less concrete side of the brain. My hope is that using more of the left side of my body will help the right side of my brain to develop, making me a more rounded person. I have always been aware that I was a true "left brainer," but had no way of forcing myself not to be.

Cheesy, I know. But its that way of thinking of things that makes me who I am.


So, I gave in. I've read up on a few blogs in my day. But not once did I ever think that I would have the time, or take the time even if I did somehow have the time, to share my thoughts with the world. Sometimes that leaves me in a tough situation, having lots of thoughts or feelings built up that I don't know what to do with.

I am at a point in my life that I have chosen to term a "quarter-life-crisis," assuming that I will live to be in my 80s. For the first 21 years of my life, I was pretty certain that I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to graduate from college with a 3.9 GPA, score a 35+ on my MCAT, and head straight to a good medical school where I would choose to take a focus in surgery. A lot of things have made me second guess this structured and very difficult route. Quite frankly, I am too immature and have not lived and experience enough in this world to start down such a path.

On Monday, I was riding my sweet new ride on the trails with my good buddy and roommate Andy. I talked him into taking me out, because my new bike had yet to see the glorious Tucson trails. We had gotten through the most technical, and pretty tough parts of the starr pass trails, and I had become comfortable (maybe too comfortable). On a pretty easy section of the trail going downhill over some rock slabs, my left hand bounced off the handlebars. This sent me flying to the right, over my handlebars, onto the rocks, with all of my weight being put onto the thumb side of my right palm.
I gathered myself, pretty sure something was badly messed up with my hand, and got back on the trails again quickly to get out of the desert before the sunset. Thanks to Andy for waiting up for my slow ass during the remaining 8 or so miles to get off the trail. After hours and hours in the ER that night it turned out that I had badly fractured my trapezium which is a small, but very important bone when it comes to being dextrous.
I will try to explain my F'd up hand... the bone under the thumb (to the left) should be in one piece, instead of 4, and my thumb should be sitting ontop of that bone, closer to my pointer finger. It turns put that the doc "has never seen anything quite like this... pretty unique" - that's not a good thing...

Thanks to my amazing hand surgeon, Dr. David Seigel, I was able to get into the operating room less than 48 hours after the incident to get this mess straightened out. I learned that I would be given an axillary block, which is a type of local anesthesia that blocks all sensation to the arm. The anesthesiologist said he would take it easy with the drugs that were meant to knock me out, so I was psyched that I would be up for my own surgery. Dr. Seigel gave me a mirror in the OR so I could get a good view of the operation.
45 minutes, and 3 pins later, it was over. It felt great too, until the axillary block wore off......

Now, I am frustrated and concerned. I am frustrated of course because I wake up every morning to the sight of my bikes that I can't ride. I can't move my right thumb at all for 8 weeks which of course makes me feel very disabled - getting dressed takes like 10 minutes, cooking oatmeal takes a bit of planning ahead, and taking notes in class doesn't happen anymore. BUT, dealing with such an awesome and caring surgeon has really given me a boost of inspiration to continue pursuing my goals.

That's where the concern comes... It is not completely certain that my thumb will heal to full strength and function. If it does, it is very likely that I will have arthritis in that joint within 20 years. That scares me. Especially since I do have aspirations of being a surgeon. Thats where I stand today with all of this.

Percocet = pass out soon. Thanks for tunin in.