Deep within my convex mirror

I think its normal to reflect on one's life at about this point in time. A few months after graduation, this is the first time that I am not matriculating at this time in the year since I was 3 years old. I
am sitting in on a couple phD biophysics courses here and there which have been keeping the brain more than adequately stimulated. That, however, is not relevant to the point I'm making which is that I have beendoing my fair share of reflecting. You could say that I stand here in front of a convex mirror, making myself appear diminished in this large distorted world.
I am not in 'real life' like many of my recently graduated peers. I am not permanently living in a city and waking up every morning, making my way to a job which I could potentially continue throughout the course of my lifetime. I am living in a dorm room in Debrecen, waking up every morning to do science. To work on a project that I will not finish. To progress yocto meters in this infinite journey. And to do so temporarily. Although the specific point in time when my work here will be finished is not yet determined, it will come.

That isn't to say that I am not happy. I am. I am thrilled to be given an opportunity to grow and gain experience and knowledge, and more thrilled to know that I am not obliged to stay here for more than I want to. I enjoy being humbled daily by brilliant scientists, and being befuddled by this puzzle they call cancer. I enjoy thinking about cells, protein interactions, and DNA... at least for the time being.

So, I reflect. I try to figure out where I am, where I'm going, where I want to be going, and how I'm going to get there. I feel very fortunate to have goals in life. Though sometimes they don't feel worth striving for, my goals in life aren't going anywhere. I know where I want to be and how I want to be living. With time, I will be there.


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